I'm not the only one!!

It's great to know that my husband misses me. He informed me tonight as we were exchanging our child. It eases my mind knowing that he misses me, that maybe he does remember the good times even tho it was rough at the end. 

Doesn't mean we're getting back together but it's not out of the question. I had a goal of getting divorce papers printed off by the end of April, but this does change my perspective. 

I can't help but to feel like he said it just to see what I would say, to see how I would react. 

Only will I find out what the future holds as it comes closer. For now I'm gonna be satisfied with it and not hope for anything more.....I don't need the disappointment. 

What if? 

Conflicting interests.

Trying to figure out me, my feelings. Before I end up hurt this man. Truth be I know I'm not quiet over my ex, even tho I know I should be. Feelings for him, nonexistent. But I still am feeling the heart break every day. It's gotten a lot lighter, but still can bring me to tears. 

My love for him is that of a dead animal, they will always have a place in your heart but you can no longer feel the love you once had for them. I love him because he is apart of my daughter...and she is my everything. 

I was told the other day everything I'm feeling is normal, that eased my mind a bit. 

Wish I could enjoy my music again, without thoughts of him. No matter what kind of genera, if it's anything but dub step then my mind reverts back to him. 

I'm starting counseling with in the month, it will be good for me. Hopefully I'll be mindfully healthy again. I miss the real me. 

    I stumble, I fall, I'm still learning.