Feeling of stuck

I have felt stuck for months now. I feel like my relationship is stuck i feel like i cant move forward in life. And i have the same recurring thought  maybe it just wasn't to happen. maybe you ere suppose to get that job maybe you weren't suppose to get that promotion maybe your were meant to have a small life maybe your not suppose to have any more kids. maybe your suppose to struggle and never get ahead in life. But why? Why cant i get a new job, why cant i have a big family, why cant i get pregnant, why do i have to feel so alone.

I cant complain about my life, but i want something more. and i don't see me ever getting to a point i can move forward. I am in the exact same place as i was last year. Same bull shit with my relationship, same shitty apartment, same job, same weight, still no friends or family. It puts the thought in my head that, " Oh you know what maybe I'm suppose to die cause there is no other reason why i would be stuck"

I want to feel like I'm actually doing something and i feel like any thing i try and do or get excited about gets thrown in  my face that i will never be good enough, "will maybe its not for you..." What the fuck is for me. I've tried to go down two different career paths, one i couldn't pass the last part of the Kaplin for nursing, and then i also thought about doing real estate and my spouse turned that down. then i thought alright i could defiantly try plumbing and i applied for a apprenticeship and i basically got turned down with that. So what i have to do now is try and find away to make me a better candidate for the apprenticeship but the people i know that does plumbing wont help me gain any experience or knowledge. I cant find any community classes for plumbing.

I cant move out of my apartment cause i barely make enough to live there. I'm stuck at my job cause there is no advancement opportunists here cause you have to be a RN. to do anything more then i do now. and i fought with the company for a over a year to get a raise, yes i finally got one $.50 but i cant do anything with that...

i want more kids, either giving birth to them or I've always wanted to adopt. I got all setup to do foster care took all the classes back ground check home study. And the day they call to come out before a placement something tragic happened and now I'm having to move 60+ miles across the state to take care of my family.

i cant get out of debt cause i barely make enough to cover bills. And just to make sure things clear, i don't have TV i don't have Internet, nor do i have a streaming service. The most luxurious thing i have is a cell phone plan that costs way to much for nothing i pay $200 for my phone plan with 4 GB of data and no i don't have the most recent phone either.

I feel like i keep getting  beat down, i stand up and then I'm stomped into the ground again. I'm tired of fighting to barely make it. I want so much more for me for my child and for my family. Its not even material things i want to explore the world with my daughter i want to give her experiences and i want her to be well educated and learn music and she wants to learn distance and neither of those thing are going to happen. If I'm not moving forward my daughters life isn't as well and that's not fair to her.