Back to a norm.

Well ive been back with my husband sense April, its been a trial getting our relationship back to a healthy one. We had a few issues at first, mainly to do with our ex's. Let me expand on that thought. So first off we both ovibously had feelings for them. I for him and he for her. Its been a struggle for the both of us trying to move past those feelings for the others.

I still have a some left over feelings for him, he was there while my husband tore me down. He was my friend, and that's all he should have ever been! We weren't ment to be together, only as friends. I think I miss the way it felt being freer? Like with my child going every other weekend to her dads. That gave us time to live like we had no kids. But it wasn't good. 

Few months after me and my husband got back together he made contact to his ex. I slightly freaked but that was due to the nature of The conversation. He said he missed her and they talked back and fourth. She admittedly said that them talking was like cheating on me but she wouldn't tell. He hid it from me as he was working out of town staying at his parents I went up for the night to see him and I found her email and that is why I freaked. 

I've never made contact with my ex aaa badly as I wanted to and still do..at least say I'm sorry. Even tho it wouldn't matter. I dunno why. It's definitely been real tiraling. But we're getting threw it! One day at a time. Things are looking bright.